Do Not Touch

For some reason or another churches have difficulty talking about certain things.  It’s like a giant “Do Not Touch” sign has been plastered over topics like depression, suicide, self-harm, abuse, homosexuality, etc.  As a part of a Chapter 3 program, we’re spending 5 weeks hearing real stories from real people with real hope.  It’s time we start to touch on these things that have previously untouchable.  As the weeks roll on, you’ll find audio links for the messages from each evening and some resources that may help you or a friend with their experience with the following areas:

Depression/Suicide – Thursday, January 13th, 2011 – Ron Merrell, Grace Baptist Church.

Homosexuality – Thursday, January 20th, 2011 – Ron Merrell, Grace Baptist Church.

Self-Harm – Thursday, January 27th, 2011 – Ron Merrell, Grace Baptist Church.

Sexual Abuse/Rape – Thursday, February 3rd, 2011 – Wendy McHaddad & Ron Merrell, Grace Baptist Church.

Abortion – Thursday, February 10th, 2011 – Landen Llamas, Grace Baptist Church.

Whether you have had experience in these areas or not – and whether you go to church or not – does not matter.  Everyone is welcome as we start to have some of these important conversations.  No one will be bashed, judged, or hurt.  We simply will start to touch on some important areas of life that many of us face – and find out we’re not alone in the journey.  See you there.

Depression/Suicide

CLICK HERE FOR AUDIO MESSAGE ON: Depression & Suicide

 

SUICIDE HOTLINE: 1.800.273.TALK

Depression is a mental and emotional disorder that includes sadness, inactivity, difficulty thinking, loss or increase in appetite or sleep, hopelessness, and sometimes suicidal thoughts.

STATS:

• 18.8 million Americans adults suffer from depression.
• Pre-schoolers are the fastest growing market for anti-depressant drugs.
• 30% of women are depressed.  Men around 20%.
• 80% of depressed people not currently being treated.
• 54% of people believe depression is a weakness.

• Suicide is the third leading cause of death for young people between the ages of 15-24.
• The fastest growing group completing suicide is children between the ages of 10-14.
• Firearms account for 60% of all suicides.  Firearms are used in more suicides than in homicides.
• Each day there are approximately 11.3 youth suicides.
• Every 2 hours and 7 minutes, a person under the age of 25 completes suicide.

SIGNS OF DEPRESSION:

• A sense of not feeling motivated for a number of weeks.
• A lack of interest in things that you are normally interested in.
• A stronger desire (compared to normal) NOT to be around people.
• A sense of feeling down that is beyond what an average person would feel in the same circumstances.

POTENTIAL CAUSES OF DEPRESSION:

• Physical or emotional suffering, especially long term, that lead to lack of hope.
• Unresolved anger.
• Guilt or inability to accept forgiveness.
• Thought-life.
• Physiological issues.

HELPFUL BOOKS ON DEPRESSION/SUICIDE:

Freedom from Depression Workbook – Les Carter and Harold Minirith

New Light on Depression – David Biebel and Harold Koehig

Unmasking Male Depression – Dr. Archibald Hart

Finding Your Way After the Suicide of Someone You Love – David Biebel and Suzanne Foster

BIBLE VERSES THAT MAY HELP:

• MATTHEW 26:37-38
• ROMANS 15:13
• 1 SAMUEL 16:14-23
• PSALMS 6, 13, 18, 23, 25, 27, 31, 32, 34 37, 38, 39, 40, 42, 43, 46, 51, 55, 57, 62, 63, 69, 71, 73, 77, 84, 86, 90, 91, 94, 95, 103, 104, 107, 110, 116, 118, 121, 123, 124, 130, 138, 139, 141, 142, 143, 146, 147
• GENESIS 15
• 1 KINGS 19
• PSALM 119:25
• JONAH 4
• 2 CORINTHIANS 4:1-18
• PHILIPPIANS 4:4-8
• 1 PETER 5:7
• JOB 3:3, 11
• JUDGES 16:29-30
• PSALM 73:14
• 1 CHRONICLES 10:4-5
• 2 SAMUEL 17:23
• 1 KINGS 16:18
• MATTHEW 27:45
• 1 SAMUEL 2:6
• JOHN 16:33
• MATTHEW 12:31

PEOPLE FROM THE BIBLE WHO EXPERIENCED LOW POINTS OR DEPRESSION OR SUICIDE:

• Moses
• Saul
• David
• Jeremiah
• Jonah
• Job
• Judas
• Elijah
• Jesus

OTHER PRACTICAL HELPS:

• Establish a daily routine.
• Get out of the house.
• Stay connected with family, friends who will listen and encourage you.
• Exercise.
• Write out thoughts for personal journey or to give to loved ones to help them understand your struggle.
• Eat small amounts all throughout the day.
• Make reading God’s Word a consistent habit.
• Play worship music throughout your day.
• Talk/think positively of yourself.
• Develop alertness to certain times that may trigger depression.
• If suicidal, tell someone immediately.

GRACE BAPTIST AND CHAPTER 3 RESOURCES IF YOU’RE BATTLING DEPRESSION:

Counseling Group (for young women) led by Debbie Reed. This group is for women who have struggled with depression/suicide.  This group will probably meet on Fridays. For more information about this group you can contact Debbie at 661 287-4243 or dreed.lmft@att.net.

Care Group (at Grace Baptist) for women who struggle with anxiety/depression. This group meets on Wednesday nights (7:00 p.m.) at Grace in room B208.

Talk with someone one-to-one (Spiritual Care). For more information about Spiritual Care go towww.gracebaptist.org/spiritualcare or call 661.296.8737 ext. 150.

National Hotline – 1 800 394-4673

Homosexuality

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO AUDIO MESSAGE ON: HOMOSEXUALITY

Homosexuality may be one of the most delicate and sensitive issues in our culture and in our church community.  For a number of reasons and in general, churches have not handled the homosexual community or lifestyle well.  Whether because of ignorance, fear, hatred, or stereotyping we’ve either fallen into protesting the issue or sometimes ignoring it all together.  Neither one are healthy.  We’re sorry if your picture of God, Jesus or the church has been tainted by stupid, uninformed, and tactless Christians.  This week, we are trying to come at the issue from all sides, including the biblical perspective, to catch God’s heart for our sexuality and for those who consider themselves homosexual.

Our sexuality is something God takes very seriously and has a great deal to say about in the Bible.  There’s a powerful link between our sexuality and our identity.  Our culture today has normalized not just homosexuality, but sex outside of marriage, pornography, and lack of modesty in general.  Knowing this has tremendous consequences on our spiritual, emotional, and physical well-being, God had a specific design in mind for our sexuality.  Ultimately, he has designed us not to be defined by our sexual orientation, but by His plan and His identity.

IRONIC COMMONNES BETWEEN THE HOMOSEXUAL AND CHRISTIAN COMMUNITIES:

• BOTH UNDERSTAND WHAT IT’S LIKE TO BE PERSECUTED
• BOTH ARE OFTEN JUDGED/MISUNDERSTOOD BY OTHERS
• BOTH ARE PASSIONATE ABOUT BELIEFS/LIFESTYLE
• BOTH CAN TEND TO BECOME INWARDLY FOCUSED COMMUNITIES OVER TIME
• BOTH HAVE A DEEP DESIRE FOR INTIMATE LOVE
• BOTH OVERWHELMINGLY LOVED BY GOD

SOME BIBLE VERSES ADDRESSING SEXUALITY:

• Genesis 1:28
• Genesis 2:18
• Genesis 2:24
• 1 Corinthians 6:15-20
• Matthew 5:27-28
• Leviticus 18:22
• Romans 1:24-28
• 1 Corinthians 6:9-11

DEBATED ISSUES ABOUT HOMOSEXUALITY:

• Is homosexuality genetic – or, in other words, are homosexuals born that way?
• Is the research true that family issues (like absent, distant, or abusive parents) somehow responsible for shaping same-sex attraction as means of compensating subconsciously for what they didn’t receive in healthy amounts during childhood?
• Can homosexuality arise simply out of curiosity or pure choice?
• Can someone who is homosexual become heterosexual?
• Do passages  in Leviticus and Deuteronomy that deal with homosexuality just refer to male prostitution in pagan temples during Bible times, and not to monogomous homosexual lifestyles that may be present today?
• Is the Sodom and Gomorrah story of Genesis 19 more a commentary on the wickedness of gang rape or does the homosexual content play any relevance?
• Do the Romans 1 references to the “unnatural” sexual relationships between men and other men, or women and other women, only speak about heterosexual men or women who engage in homosexual acts because that would be “unnatural” for them? Whereas, if someone is born homosexual and engages in homosexual acts then it isn’t “unnatural” for them – and is therefore biblical excusable?
• Has the word “homosexual” in the Bible been lost in translation and therefore have a different meaning today?

RESOURCES FOR THOSE STRUGGLING WITH SEXUAL ISSUES:

For more information (click here): Love Won Out

To talk with a counselor one-on-one visit www.gracebaptist.org/spiritualcare or email ron.merrell@gracebaptist.org.

To join a female group addressing those roughly 18-25 years old email cyndi.sutton@gracebaptist.org

To join a male group addressing sexual issues for those roughly 18-25 years old email ron.merrell@gracebaptist.org.

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO AUDIO MESSAGE ON: HOMOSEXUALITY

Self-Harm/Eating Disorders

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO AUDIO MESSAGE ON SELF-HARM/EATING DISORDERS:

Self-harm is any deliberate, non-suicidal behavior, that inflicts physical harm on one’s body, and is aimed at relieving emotional distress.  Because emotional pain is harder to deal with than physical pain, some people use self-harm as a way for pain to be “seen.”  Others find self-harm as a way to make the pain they feel on the inside match what they look like on the outside.  Still others, find the reasoning behind self-harm hard to explain but use it as a means to feel alive or feel something at all.

SELF-HARM CAN INCLUDE:

• Cutting
• Banging limbs
• Burning
• Bone breaking
• Hair pulling
• Eating disorders (binging and purging, intentional starvation)
• Infecting oneself
• Inserting objects into skin

Approximately 4% of the US population self-harms.  It is estimated that approximately 8 million Americans have an eating disorder (7 million women and 1 million men).

SELF-IMAGE STATISTICS:

• 42% of 1-3rd graders want to be thinner.
• 81% of 10 year olds are afraid of being fat.
• The average American woman is 5’4″, 140 lbs.  The average American model is 5’11″, 117 lbs.
• A 1996 study found that the amount of time an adolescent watches soap operas, movies and music videos is associated with their degree of body dissatisfaction and desire to be thin.
• By the time the average American girl is 17 she has received over 250,000 commercial messages through media.

BIBLE VERSES ON ACCEPTANCE, SEXUALITY, COMFORT, BEAUTY, CONTROL, FOOD, GUILT, & COMMUNITY:

• Ephesians 1:6
• Psalm 103.13-14
• Genesis 1:27-28
• Hebrews 13:4
• 1 Timothy 4:8
• Psalm 27:4
• Proverbs 11:22
• 2 Corinthians 1:3-4
• Romans 11:33-12:16
• 1 Corinthians 6:19
• Psalm 139:13-16
• Matthew 5:48 (But here the word translated to us as “perfect” actually better translates to “complete” or “mature.”
• Philippians 3:14
• 1 Corinthians 10:16-17; 11:23-26
• Psalm 51:7
• Romans 5:1-11
• 1 John 1:9

PRINCIPLES FOR HELP:

• Be patient with yourself.  God is.
• Identify triggers (abandonment, fear, isolation, powerlessness, rejection, hopelessness, numb, bored, unloved, discouragement, comparisons, past experiences or people revisiting you).
• Be persistent about disputing how culture defines things and equally persistent about seeing yourself the way God sees you.
• Seek help in repairing past family relationships if needed.
• Don’t accept trite simple answers from people.
• Don’t isolate.  Seek authentic friendships even when everything inside you tells you otherwise.

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO AUDIO MESSAGE ON SELF-HARM/EATING DISORDERS:

Sexual Abuse/Rape

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO WENDY MCHADDAD’S POWERFUL STORY WITH WRAP-UP BY RON MERRELL:

Few things cause more physical and emotion hurt – and stir more anger – than sexual abuse and rape.  These are some of the deepest, darkest places of sin in our world.  Victims of it can emerge feeling that love and affection can only be bought or used, that they only have value as an object or thing, that powerlessness is a way of life, and relationships can only bring betrayal.

Sexual abuse, including rape, is the perpetration of any unwanted sexual interaction or contact by a person who, because of age or power, is able to take advantage of another.  Thus, sexual abuse can involve adult-adolescent, adult-child, adolescent-child, adolescent-child, adolescent-adolescent, and child-child pairs.  Sexual abuse can be perpetrated by either sex against either sex.

STATISTICS:

• A child is molested every two minutes, according to some estimates.
• More than one out of 3 adult women and one in 6 adult men have been sexually abused before 18 years old.
• Estimated that for every victim known, nine others are hidden.
• Approximately 683,000 women are raped in the US each year.
• As little as 10% of rapes are reported to the police.
• Majority of rapes are perpetrated by people the victim knows beforehand.

BIBLE INSTRUCTION:

• 2 Samuel 13:12-13
• 1 Thessalonians 4:4-6
• Luke 17:2
• Leviticus 18:6
• 1 Corinthians 13:5-7
• Ephesians 5:25-27; 6:4
• 1 Corinthians 5
• 2 Corinthians 5:17

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO WENDY MCHADDAD’S POWERFUL STORY WITH WRAP-UP BY RON MERRELL:

Abortion

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO AUDIO MESSAGE ON ABORTION:

Abortion is an often debated and heated issue in America today.  It involves the termination of pregnancy by the surgical removal of a human fetus or embryo from the womb of the mother.  While that sounds very clinical, abortion stops the life of a living person.  And it is rampant.  By some accounts there were 38,000,000 abortions between 1973 and 1998 alone.  That dwarfs the number of Americans killed in all our wars (about 1.2 million people).

STATS WHY CHILDREN ARE ABORTED:

• 1% – victims of incest or rape
• 1% – fetal abnormalities
• 4% – had a doctor say their health would worsen if they continued the pregnancy
• 50% – said they didn’t want to be a single parent or had problems in their current relationships
• 66% – stated they couldn’t afford the child
• 75% – said the child would interfere with the child

ABORTION INFORMATION:

• Abortion kills a living person.
• Single motherhood, although not ideal, is a feasible alternative for some.
• Abortion is a not a quick fix – it leaves long term consequences including broken relationships, guilt/worry about aborted baby, emotional problems, addictions, and self-destructive behaviors.
• The adoption option is both workable and often wisest choice.

The unborn differs from the newborn in 4 ways (from Steven Schwartz’s The Moral Question of Abortion):

• Size
• Level of Development
• Environment
• Degree of Dependency

This is referred to as the SLED Test.  None of the differences mentioned above have any bearing on its status as a human being.  Do those differences constitute an excuse for ending life?

HELPFUL LINKS:

SCV Pregnancy Center

Stands to Reason

POST ABORTION HELPS:

Ask yourself,

• Do you find yourself struggling to turn off the feelings connected to your abortion(s), telling yourself over and over again to forget it?

   

• Are you resentful and unforgiving toward anyone for their involvement in your abortion(s):  parents, boyfriends, the abortion clinic, or friends?

   

• Do you find yourself rationalizing why you are better off without that child in your life today?

   

• Have you experienced periods of prolonged depression?

   

• Have you felt a vague sort of emptiness leading to a deep sense of loss?

   

• When abortion is mentioned in public, do you find your body reacting physically: tightened stomach muscles, clenched jaw, or holding your breath?

   

If you are able to answer “yes” to any of these questions, PACE may be right for you.

PACE provides a place for a woman to…

• meet with others who have experienced the pain of abortion

   

• deal with the grief issues associated with abortion

   

• successfully cope with the ongoing reminders of her experience

   

• accept and experience forgiveness

   

You are not alone.  Please feel free to contact us anytime at 661-255-0082. All inquiries are strictly CONFIDENTIAL.

AS BELIEVERS, WE MUST:

• Speak up lovingly.
• Pray continually.
• Show people God’s hope, direction and forgiveness.

BIBLE HELPS:

• Psalm 139:13-16
• Ephesians 1:4
• Deuteronomy 10:17-18
• James 1:27
• Luke 11:42
• Proverbs 24:11-12
• Romans 12:9; 17-21
• 2 Chronicles 7:14
• 2 Corinthians 5:18-20
• Psalm 103:12
• Acts 22:4
• Hebrews 8:12

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO AUDIO MESSAGE ON ABORTION: